Thursday, June 5, 2014

Sunsets, dogs and creepers.

 So last night I heard an interesting perspective. I've always tried to make myself better, make myself more, etc.....and have been sorely disappointed because I'm just not that good.  What I heard last night was about taking away those things about yourself that don't measure up to who you should/want to be.  I took it to mean that I am already the good person I want to be, I just have a whole lot of nasty stuff I need to pick off to get to that good person.  That is a game changer for me. It is easier for me to wrap my mind around this and not feel like I am failing each day that I don't live up to my standards!

It is amazing how just restating something differently can make all the differences in the world.  It doesn't mean that this time next week, next month or next year, I won't still be trying to pick off the things that don't belong but at least it is easier for me to understand!


 All the animals are doing well.  Casper, my deaf white boxer, is still naughty.  He is still in love with me too!  He really is a sweet dog but he just has this mischievous streak about a mile long! 
In the middle bottom window, you can see the neighbor watching. He is always watching. Sometimes with binoculars.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

What country kids do.

I did grow up in a country-ish location. A small town actually. Had I known that one day I would be attending and really enjoying tractor pulls, well.....I never would have believed it.  I never really cared for lawn tractors.  A couple of reasons for that - 1. it meant mowing the lawn, 2. my mother was the queen of lawn mowing and even if I had wanted to, she still loves to mow the lawn and never really had a chance to develop a loving relationship with lawn mowing tools, and 3. ever since hearing a horrible story at church camp of a kid who cut off his foot with a lawnmower, I've always been kind of scared of them. 

But there is a culture around lawn tractors! Seriously! I've seen lawn tractors costing around $10,000.. Run on alcohol...souped up to be louder than an airboat!  At these tractor pulls which are generally held out in the middle of nowhere, there are little kids, big kids, adults - men and women.  There are grandmas and grandpas sitting on the sidelines watching the kids drag a weighted wagon as far as their wheels will go - or their engines will stay in gear - down the dirt track. 

This is serious business but such a fun time! I love it because you never know who is going to win. Size doesn't matter here.  A 7-year-old girl can easily beat at 14-year-old boy.  The fancy, shiny new tractor may come in last! Everyone has a chance.  And is it colorful!!!  Green John Deere, red International Harvester, yellow Cub Cadets, blue....well, whatever tractor is blue - not to mention the more unique custom-painted tractors. 

And it is a community - we start out with the Pledge of Allegiance.  From youngest to oldest, the caps come off the head, the hands over the hearts and we salute our flag - Under God.  There's great food and pop and lights and grass to sit on.  It puts lawn mowers in new perspective.  Oh, and at a tractor pull?????  Don't call them lawn mowers!

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Two years.


I have a bunch of great pictures of my animals, plants and other beautiful things. Unfortunately I can't figure out how to connect them from the account where they are located to my blog.  I am sure that I will figure it out eventually.  The top photo is of the beautiful white tulips growing beside my house.They looks cream colored in theis pic but they truly are Snow White.  The second is of the swollen  creek at the bottom of our hill.  We have had a lot A LOT of rain lately and our creek rose over its banks.  Which is nice, because we need the rain. But which also sucks because I feel like we will never get the fence around the pasture completed.

I;ve been doing  a lot of quilting lately.  Taking a break tonight even though I had originally planned to finish at least a couple of blocks for my Dear Jane quilt.  I am allowing myself a pity party: two years tomorrow my dad passed away.  I am also just dreading, absolutely dreading, my daughters' turning 17 and experiencing so many lasts.  ie. the last Cross Country meet, last soccer season, etc.  After tonight though, the pity party stops andI will start celebrating the time we have remaining in high school and all the blessings that are sure to come as they grow into young women.  Meanwhile, my youngest son has agreed to live with me always. I am in the process of drawing up a contract for him to sign.

Eventually I will figure out how to link my newer photos here.  Life was much easier when I didn't have a phone or an ipad on which to store photos.  It was easier when I would just load pictures from my camera right onto the computer.  But as I can see, every thing changes.  My kids, my life, my blog.




Thursday, May 15, 2014

Oh. Dear Jane

So this is what I've been doing lately.  I've always wanted to do a Dear Jane quilt and I finally signed up for a block of the month for a rainbow Dear Jane. I am truly spreading my wings......I used to hate paper piecing but over the past couple of months, I've had lots of opportunities to practice.  And I didn't give up.  As a result, I love the preciseness of paper piecing and may even finish the paperpieced Christmas tree skirt I started for my brother and his family many years ago!

But that's what I've been doing.  I've also had some challenges how to get my photos loaded into my blog but I seem to have it figured out.  I have lots of pictures to share: we are in the process of having a new, strong fence built around the pasture which will give the goats and Clover a lot more room to roam.  I am even thinking about buying one or two more mininubians - I really miss the goat milk and the cheese.

So I'm slowly getting back into the things I used to love to do.  One of them being writing in my blog.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Stupid things that make my day!

1. Seeing this aqua colored Herr's potato chip delivery truck made me smile today. It reminds me of when i was a kid and milk was delivered in a similar type of truck. In fact,, just the colors aqua and bubble gum pink remind me of childhood.

2.  Thimbles. And now I have a thimble bell that i wear as a necklace. It reminds me of the quilt show that I recently attended.

3.  I love the grumbly sound that my dog makes when i scratch his back.....it is a sound of utter joy.

4.  I love the trees on campus that I call dingleberry trees.  They remind me of  trees from a Dr. Suess book.

5.  I just love the sound of the birds in the morning and being able to sit outside, drink my coffee and wait for my dogs to take their morning constitutional.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Checking in.

It has been a busy week.  I've been cleaning and making things look nice.  By things, I mean the living room.  By nice, I mean that I've kept it swept, dusted and neat.  I'm not known for my housekeeping abilities. To me, keeping an immaculate home ranks right up there with, um, all that stuff that is so unimportant to me that I can't even remember what it is.

Honestly? I find that I really enjoy my living room being clean.  I enjoy that the coffee table isn't heaped with books and magazines. I enjoy that I've moved embroidery and knitting paraphernalia off the top of the entertainment center and now I can see my candles and pictures not clumped together.

Tomorrow I'll work on the bathroom and move some of my sewing stuff, my clothes for being with the animals out of the bathroom.  Or at least, put up a couple dedicated hooks to hang my coveralls and sweatshirts.

I've been working on Christmas presents. I've been trying to finish some of the books I've been reading.  I want to start my annual reading of Fannie Flagg's Red Bird Christmas as well as some of my other Christmas books.

Not only have I been busy but we had a snowstorm over the weekend.  Not really sure that it actually was a storm - just a heavy snowfall.  But it seems that over the past few years, instead of simply having snowfalls, every snow event is labeled as a snowstorm.  I guess that being dramatic is good for business.

So as the evenings before Christmas wind down, I'm completing my projects and not feeling rushed.

PS I forgot that I wrote this.  It is now 2 days before Christmas and I'm waiting for my oldest son to come home on the bus from Denver.  I have all of my projects completed. I have a couple things I still want to buy but overall, I am very happy with what I've accomplished.  And I am happy to say that all the things I wrote about above that I was going to do? I have completed them :)

Wrong note.

It is funny. More than 30 years after high school, I can still feel the shame and humiliation of being the least popular person in the school.  I really wish that certain situations were as quick to bring back good feelings as bad experiences are able to bring back feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, friendlessness..........

It is amazing to me how I allow myself to feel like an outsider.  I am an outsider.  I'm odd. I definitely don't fit in with most people.  But geez......in church?  I play the piano.  I'm not good at it but in a pinch, if I mess up, I'm able to pick out a recognizable tune with one finger.  Enough so that every one can keep singing because for some reason, even when I have my foot on the damper, you can oftn hear the piano over the organ.

It is true that sometimes I sit a little off on the bench and my fingers don't exactly line up where I am accustomed to them being and as a result, hit the wrong notes.  Because I can't see from the book to the keys, I play by feel.  My son and his buddy sit very, very close to where the piano is.  AndI can hear them laughing.  It is like my worst nightmare come true.  Flashback to nearly 40 years ago when I totally messed up playing the piano for a Christmas concert at our church and the humiliation I've felt ever since.  People don't think that it hurts when they laugh but it does.  I can't laugh it off. I can't shrug it off.  I feel like a failure.  Just because I'm an adult and should know better, I can't really make myself not let it bother me.  And it does bother me, which compounds my nervousness for the next time I have to play.

And then I remember the time that I laughed at a friend who sang in front of our church.  I was 16 at the time.  And she was incredibly off key.  And I laughed to myself but thank goodness I got up and left before anyone else could have guessed that I was laughing.  So I guess I deserve it.  But thinking back, I was really nervous for her. I was mortified that someone else was going to notice which really made me laugh.  I think she was incredibly brave for offering that part of herself.

So I'm a little bit sensitive.  But it hurts.  I don't want to be seen as someone who can't hit a right note.  Because at home I am able to play the piano.